Help! 40 weeks of date nights!
I’m not sure if this will be an exercise in setting and achieving goals, heightening marital romance and contentment, or if in fact it will add another layer of partnership pressure! But when my husband outlined his 2015 New Year resolutions the number one item on his to-do list was take his wife (me) on a date every week. EVERY WEDNESDAY! EVERY WEEK! The motivation came not from a view that our relationship was wilting or a desire to sprout new seduction skills, rather to spend more time with each other. He genuinely likes me… well that’s the take home message I decided on. Proving how in-season as a couple we are, the germination of my resolution must have sprung from the same seed. I vowed to compete as an individual at the Noosa triathlon so that we could train at least one of the three disciplines together and have a scheduled catch up each week. While we have five very self-sufficient daughters, one of whom has moved out of home, we still lead busy lives. He works full time, every Saturday and many Sundays. He cycles with mates, swims, hikes, and plays waterpolo with different blokes, has an annual holiday with his six brothers and parents, sails every week for a stress relief and of course has a family of girls to consider. I work freelance, sometimes full-on, sometimes not at all. I run regularly thrice-weekly with girlfriends, have started yoga and swim as well as study french and keep the household of girls with all of their individual activities ticking over. Of course I am mostly-competent in the usual household chores that mums just magically do. Together, we have a great social life with friends and holidays so there are no complaints, but somewhere in all of this organised frenzy we haven’t really included each other in our daily run sheets. We have been on two dates since the beginning of the year, a movie and dinner at an Indian restaurant, the name of which I can’t recall as it was a choice based on driving around until we saw somewhere to stop. (For those doing the sums, the left over Wednesdays included the end of Christmas holidays and commitments already in the calendar.) So based on my calculations of what is already scheduled in the diary for the year, how many weeks are left, the fact we have an overseas holiday planned (so those weeks are covered) and my formula of unforeseen events that will cause date-disruption, we have 40 Wednesdays of one-on-one time to achieve. Tomorrow we are off on a date! What do married people do on dates other than movies or dinner? My husband is already feeling the pressure and I feel obligated to help him achieve his goal by contributing some suggestions so that we don’t depart on these nights out, frazzled, grumpy and with no-where to go. I am seeking dating advice. Names of bars, restaurants or digs to try in Brisbane, movies that are not on the blockbuster list and worth it, music venues or comedy shows to road test. Anything really. I have seen 50 Shades of Grey and the The Bachelor so dates that include jet flights to another city, spending five hours decorating a sporting oval in roses, or getting home after midnight are out. If it means dating another three women (or men) at the same time, i.e. a group date it’s out. If it involves rope or anything you buy at Bunnings, it’s out. If it’s too expensive or too time-consuming (we have work and children remember) it’s out. So if you can’t yet escape your children on a week night or don’t have a partner around every week or have commitments with animals you can’t avoid or just want to date vicariously through me (for a few hours, bedtime is about 10-10.30) please bombard me with ideas. Actually I’ll take one! I would love to compile a list, present it to my husband and know that I don’t have to come up with the plan each week, (along with what’s for dinner all the other nights) and he will be happy to be well on the way to achieving his resolution. As for my goal of the triathlon, what a shame there are no entry spots left!