Kids talk!…the new french.

Je suis repeter des lecons de francais pour la troisieme fois.

For those, who can’t read french, I want you to know, I am excellent at it.

For those who can, ne le dites anybody je ne peux pas.

To translate; I am repeating french lessons for the third time.

Not because I am a slow language learner..Non, non, non!

It’s because I am dedicated to perfecting it.

It’s the same mindset I have applied to mastering the many other languages that I have experienced in my home.

My french classroom!

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The family government..Vote 1

It seems electioneering is everywhere. Queensland, Moreton Bay, United States, Germany!

When you think about it, families are like governments, constantly in campaign-mode and often childish.

There are leaders, (parents or older siblings depending on the issue) trying to win a popularity contest and stay in power;

Voters, (kids) trying to work out what’s in it for them;

Skewed polling(children arguing that everyone else is allowed to);

Irritating, repetitive catch-cries (slogans such as ‘I CAN’t DO…it”);

Lies(” it wasn’t me”); back-flips( “no I will do my chore, don’t take my pocket-money”); name-calling(too many to highlight); and work that grinds to a halt around key dates.

Take my government, I mean family for instance.

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Get on line with your kids!

A friend phoned the other day and asked how much time I allowed my 5 girls to spend online, each day.

Another, wanted to know how I controlled facebook.

And my second eldest step-daughter has asked for the hundredth time to have wireless access in her room.

The forces have aligned, so I’ve taken it as a sign to tackle this internet issue.

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what to do if you don’t like your stepchild?

Or alternatively if they don’t like you?

I have experienced a degree of this dilemma and it’s arguably the biggest problem facing blended families.

Heading into a new union with extras already onboard…Is it a deal breaker?

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how to get kids to empty the dishwasher without being asked!

I came home to find my 14 year old step daughter had emptied the dishwasher,  (a chore that wasn’t even assigned to her) off her own bat.

Incredible!

No asking, no bribing, no threats, nothing. Just emptied!

How did I do it?

Easy!

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The Maths of Motherhood!

Bear with me!

This is the (fairly simple) equation that has prevented me from a life of pure insanity.

pocketmoney + chores = power

(plus or minus)

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That’s not FAIR!!

I have a super- amazing photographic memory!

I can recall exactly what chores my now 13 year old had to do when she was 7.

I can remember the ages each of my 5 girls had to start emptying the dishwasher, making their own lunches and ironing their own uniforms.

I can remember how much spending money each was allocated on family holidays, how many dances they were allowed to go to each term, how much time they were allowed on msn, now Facebook, and at what age they paid for themselves to go to a movie.

I am also a clairvoyant.

I can tell you when each of my children will be paying their own mobile bills, board and vacuuming their own rooms.

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The first step of a Stepmum!

Don’t discipline your step children.  Leave that to their biological mother or father!

Can you say crap on a blog??

If not, politely with a puckered face I say, “what a load of rubbish!”

Like many mums, I too have those parenting bibles- “What to expect when you’re expecting’, baby name books, a stack of mags with advice on everything from how to get babies to sleep, stop sucking dummies, when to start toilet training and how to join a play group.

I haven’t heard or read of, any so called “guides for step parenting”.  In fact are they out there?

But somewhere I must have seen this advice because it stuck in my mind and stuck in my craw.

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Smacking stepkids?

Gosh, just started this blog and already a serious issue!  I was hoping to start off slowly with how much pocket money I dish out…another time.

In today’s papers there’s a report of a judge overturning an assault charge on a man, who cuffed his 13 year old stepson around the ears for swearing at his mother and refusing to wash up.

Judge Paul Conlon said, ” it is a sad day when caring parents, attempting to impart some discipline to the little princes and princesses are dragged before the courts”.

He also commented that, “one of the reasons that so many young persons find themselves in trouble with the law is that there has been an absence of any effective discipline in their lives”.

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I do NOT like being a stepmum!

I played that paper chatterbox game as a child, where, when you lift up the flaps, I would end up marrying a gardener, driving a Ferrari, living in a toilet and having 20 children.

Sometimes I ended up living in a mansion or driving a golf buggy but not once did I ever turn over a triangle that said I would have 2 biological and 3 step kids!

Little girls don’t talk about wanting to have a blended family when they grow up.

But like the dreams I had as a child, of becoming a famous tennis player, (even though I never even picked up a racket until I was at university) or living overseas with a handsome prince, life sometimes doesn’t turn out they way you envisaged.

Step mothers were always portrayed as the evil villains in children’s stories….Cinderella had one, so did Snow White!

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